


Christ, you've got it bad

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, F/M, idk they all, live by each other, mentions of past unrequited jakejane and dirkjake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 17:46:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jake decides to seek help for his problem</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christ, you've got it bad

You wake up in the morning feeling lonely. Your limbs are spread all over the place and taking up all the space, but you would rather that space be taken up by someone else’s skinny legs. Thinking about Roxy Lalonde sharing your bed makes you smile, but thinking about asking her to share your bed makes you nauseous.

You’re going to be a total mess of feelings today, you can already tell. For the morning, you think maybe you can just wallow in it and hope you get tired of that by the afternoon. Yeah, good plan. Go team.

You turn your head to check the time – too late for breakfast, but too early for lunch. Maybe it’s a perfect time for brunch, but you know you’d just end up having dinner early if you did that. You’d much rather just lay here for a while than eat anyway.

Burying your face in your pillow, you go back to daydreaming about waking up next to Roxy. Maybe she’d be wearing one of your t-shirts. She’d probably have really bad morning breath, but you’d be okay with that because you do too. She’d be a cuddler, for sure. You could see her yanking the blanket up to her neck and snuggling up to your side and going back to sleep so you’d be afraid to move and wake her up.

Christ, you’ve got it bad, don’t you?

You turn over on your back, but that just forces you to face your empty room. The idea of confessing to Roxy crosses your mind again. The worst she can do is say no after all. That would sting pretty bad, but you’d get over it after a while, right? It’s not like this constant ache that’s with you for as long as you can hold out any semblance of hope.

Because the thing is, you do think you have a chance with her. That’s what makes this so much worse than crushes you’ve had before; all those other crushes went away almost as soon as you came to terms with the impossibility of them. But the way Roxy smiles at you, how she laughs a little too loudly at your bad jokes, how she seems to find excuses to be close to her, all makes you think she may feel the same.

It’s just that you’ve been wrong about that before too. You thought Jane was doing the same thing, and Dirk was later. Are you really that arrogant that you think all your friends have wanted to date you at some point?

This is terrible. Crushes are terrible. Maybe you should work this out. You don’t think you’re up to talking about this with Roxy, though. Even if you could talk to her about a mystery girl, she’d figure out it’s either herself or Jane. You’re too bad at keeping secrets to pull that off anyway, and it’s cliché and dumb and you don’t want to do that.

Maybe Dirk will have some good advice. He’s your best bro. You should be able to talk to him about this stuff. You’re kind of surprised you haven’t already, actually.

You reach for your phone on the nightstand next to the clock, stretching your arm almost painfully. It takes you a while, and you probably could have done it in a tenth of the time if you had sucked it up and rolled over again, but you do eventually reach it. After you unplug it from the charger to make it easier to text, you open the Pesterchum app and log in.

As always, Dirk is online. His mood isn’t set as busy or rancorous though, so it’s probably okay to talk to him.

 

\--golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestifed [TT]\--

GT: Good morning dirk.   
GT: Or have you been up all night?   
TT: I got a few hours of sleep. Sup.   
GT: Well i was kind of hoping i could talk to you about something.   
TT: Of course. I’m all ears.   
GT: Okay great.   
GT: But i also need your advice if you please.   
TT: You’ve got that too.

 

You pause before you start typing. How exactly do go about this? You trust him enough to tell him everything, but you’re not sure he’d want to hear everything. But actually, “everything” just boils down to “I really really really like Roxy a lot more than I should.” Yeah, that should work.

 

GT: So i really really really like roxy a lot more than i should.   
GT: Yeah thats basically it.   
TT: Oh.   
TT: That’s easy, dude, just tell her.   
GT: I cant just tell her. Thats the point!   
TT: Why not?   
GT: What if shes utterly repulsed?   
TT: She won’t be.   
GT: How do you know?   
TT: It’s Roxy.   
TT: Dude, trust me, I’ve been there. You’ll regret it if you don’t say anything.   
TT: And between you and me, I think you have a chance.   
GT: I think so too.   
TT: Do you realize you just contradicted yourself?   
GT: But what if im wrong?   
GT: I mean ive been wrong before.   
TT: Oh?

 

Oh, shit, you’ve just railroaded yourself into confessing, haven’t you? You pause again, trying to figure out how exactly you want to say this.

 

GT: Well i thought jane liked me at one point.  
TT: She did.  
GT: She told me she didnt.  
TT: She did.  
GT: Oh.

 

Well then. Why would she have lied about that? That’s another conversation for another time though. Right now you have to prove to Dirk that you pretty much have no idea what you’re doing.

 

GT: But i also thought you liked me at one point.  
GT: So i still dont think i can trust my judgment.

 

There’s another long pause, this time on Dirk’s end before he replies. At first you think he’s disgusted or something and you let your phone rest on your chest until you hear the soft message tone.

 

TT: I did.   
GT: Wait what?   
TT: It’s a thing of the past. Don’t worry about it.   
GT: But why didnt you tell me?   
TT: I tried, but you were kind of oblivious.   
TT: Or maybe you were aware and just ignored it, I didn’t know.   
TT: I gave up on it years ago. Don’t worry about it.   
GT: Oh geez dirk im really sorry.   
TT: It’s cool. I’ve got someone else now.   
GT: Really?   
TT: Yes. But we were talking about you.   
TT: You should trust your judgment more. If you think you have a chance with Roxy, I bet you do.   
TT: But you’ll never know if you don’t tell her.   
GT: Yeah i guess you have a point.

 

Another alert sounds, and a line of gray text you weren’t paying attention to turns black; Roxy is online.

 

TT: Hey, here’s Roxy.  
TT: Go talk to her. You have a lot to discuss.

\--timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]\--

 

He logs off before you can even finish a message to him. It’s probably just to force you into talking to her instead of procrastinating by whining to him. Which is fine, you guess; he only wants to help. But you don’t know what to say.

What do you say? How do you say it? This isn’t something you should be talking about over Pesterchum, that much you’re sure of. Fairly sure of, anyway. Yeah, you should tell her in person.

 

\--tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]\--

TG: hey jakey   
GT: Hey!   
GT: I was just about to ask if you were free today.   
TG: yea i dont have any plans   
TG: you wanna hang or st   
GT: Yes, let’s hang.   
TG: k   
TG: my place or urs   
GT: Either or.   
GT: If you come here ill make pancakes.   
TG: aw fuck yea!   
TG: ill be there in half an hour   
GT: Great! Ill go put on pants.   
TG: omfg

\--golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]\--

 

Half an hour later, as promised, there doorbell rings. You run to open it and yell out a greeting as you return to the skillet; you’ve got to make absolutely sure your pancake doesn’t burn. Roxy follows you excitedly.

“When you said you were going to put on pants, I didn’t think you meant microshorts,” she says as she hops up to sit on the counter.

You look down at your shorts with a slight frown. “What’s wrong with my shorts?”

Roxy laughs a little, and you look over at her. It’s the first time you properly see her for the day; she’s wearing a skirt that has to be at least as short as your shorts, but she’s also wearing black leggings underneath. “Nothing’s wrong with your shorts. They’re pretty hot.”

You blush a little and look down at your skillet, trying to hide your smile. Meanwhile, Roxy reaches over and snags the pancake that you’ve already made.

“Don’t you want syrup?” you ask as she opens a drawer next to her looking for silverware. You open the correct drawer and fetch a fork for her.

She takes it from you with a smile and starts eating it plain. You make faces at her to let her know how gross she is, but she ignores you. As she pointedly looks straight ahead, you give up and return to cooking.

Roxy doesn’t say anything, and you don’t have anything to say in response, so you begin to feel awkward as you slide your second pancake onto another plate. You suppose you could bring up the thing you wanted to ask her, but –

“Hey, what’s up with that face?”

“Hm?” You look up to see her eyebrows lowered in concern. You realize you’ve been biting your lip and immediately stop. “Nothing, I was just…contemplating.”

You look away and try to shrug it off casually, but she’s not fooled. “Contemplating what?”

Well, looks like she’s not going to let it go easily. You were going to tell her today anyway though, or at least try so you’d have something to report back to Dirk. So, you may as well get it over with now. “Contemplating…how much I like you,” you say slowly, struggling to get the words out. “And contemplating if maybe I wanted to ask you on a date or something?”

You begin to cringe at how bad that pickup was. You decide to shut up and flip your pancake. Pancakes are so much easier than women.

“Well, if you’d like my input, I think a date sounds like fun,” she replies. You see she’s looking at her half-eaten pancake as well. “So if you do decide to ask me, my answer would be yes.”

Your lips, which until now had been pressed together in anticipation, spread into a smile. “Yeah, I think I’ll go ahead and ask you, then.”

She still doesn’t look up, but you can see her smile too. “And I’m gonna go ahead and say yes.”

“So…when do you think is good?”

She shrugs, and finally manages to make eye contact with you again. “Is this a date now?”

Your smile fades as you start thinking. “It could be…but it feels kind of weird to just decide that it’s a date in the middle of it, you know?”

Roxy hums in agreement and nods. You’ve got an idea though. You check the pancake and decide its good enough, and slide it onto your plate. Telling Roxy to wait just a moment, you run out the front door and close it behind you.

It takes you a few minutes longer than you thought to find some flowers, and when you do they’re just dandelions, but you pick half a dozen of them and return to your porch. You ring your doorbell and wait, the hand with flowers in front of you ready to present to your lady, and the other hand behind your back.

When Roxy opens the door, she seems bemused at first. In a second she gets it and cracks up. “Oh my god, you dork!” she shrieks as she pulls you into a hug.

“But I’m a dork you’re dating now, right?” you ask. You pull one of the dandelions from the bunch in your hand and stick it behind Roxy’s ear.

She rolls her eyes, but you see her go a little red. “Yeah, I guess instead of just a couple of dorks, we’re a dorky couple now.”

“We are? Really?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she says.

“Good. I mean, I think so too.”

“Awesome.”

“Yeah.”

At first you just stand there, hugging each other awkwardly in the middle of the doorway that you still haven’t closed. You remove an arm from your girlfriend (!) to take care of that. “So is this a movie date, or…what kind of date is this?”

Roxy shrugs. “Movie date sounds fun. How about you pick, since you’re paying?”

“If I’m paying, we’re staying home,” you say, and you finally break away to search the entertainment center.

“Yeah, that’s what I meant,” she teases, plopping down on the couch.

You don’t really have a response to that, so you don’t say anything. It takes you all of ten seconds to pick out something you like that you think Roxy will too. (Then again, everyone likes X-Men, right? Can you go wrong with a superhero movie? Probably not, in your humble opinion.)

For a second you think about fetching your pancakes, but you decide it’s probably not worth it to take that many steps. You take your place on the sofa next to Roxy, who immediately shifts closer to you.

Yeah, this was definitely a good decision.


End file.
